Max and vancube
Max stuck his head out of the window and let the wind flap his cheeks and ears in the air. How nice it was to be a dog! Not a care in the world, but eat and sleep and hang his head out of the window.
Max felt his owner's hand scratch behind his ear. "Maxie, would you like a sandwich?"
Yes, thought Max, yes, I would.
"Or would you like some dog food instead?" No, he thought, no, a sandwich will do. Then, after a moment of thinking he added, please.
The man loved Max more than anything, and felt a need to gratify Max's every whim. At least, Max liked to think so.
When he got home, he as always lay down in the garden, literally blowing kisses to the cats who passed him instead of growling, so that the poor, confused things would forget where they are going and crash into the fence, leaving a smug Max the king of the backyard.
After a nice, long nap Max lazily went over the to-do list of things in his head. Eat. Check. Sleep. Check. Sweep the neighbor poodle-dolls off their feet… Max got up and squeezed through a hole in the fence (which seemed to be becoming smaller and smaller the more sandwiches he ate) and trotted over to the charming pink doghouse surrounded by roses. In several moments two snow-white poodles appeared, looking shyly at Max and batting their eyelashes.
Max, haughty and proud, ripped two roses off their stems, and standing on his hind legs, elegantly dropped them at the lovely poodles' feet. Immediately, the two swooned, and fell down, staring dreamily at their handsome admirer, who smiling to himself, thought, Thank you, thank you very much. Gathering himself he then went back through the hole, momentarily getting stuck.
Back in his sunlit patch, he continued the list, Sweep the neighbor poodle-dolls off their feet. Check. Oh, I'm good! What's next… Go over to the-
But his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a truck driving up to Max's house. Snarling, the dashing bulldog galloped across the house, missing his doggie door, and almost crashing into the front door.
"Be careful, Maxie, we don't want you getting hurt!" his owner dragged him away and opened the door.
Maxie, his pride wounded, marched over to the couch, deliberately messing up as many pillows as he could. Once the door closed, Max found himself calm enough to go and see what was delivered. Peaking over a corner, he watched his owner inspect a large rectangular, blue and red box, then open it and take out the thing inside.
Quite honestly, from the moment Max saw the box, he hated it more than dog food. It seemed to challenge him-him! The king of the house, the emperor of the palace, the ruler of the home! And yet the box was arrogant enough to go and stick itself in Max's face in all its red and blue splendor.
But what was inside made Max feel the wolf inside him awake. He started snarling, growling, barking, and yet… backing away.
For the Thing Of the Box was unlike anything Max had ever seen. It was tall, with a thin, gray horn at the top, and a blue and silver, shining, polished body. A long black tail lay at its side with a strange fork at its tip.
"Oh Max!" his owner laughed. What's so funny? A distraught Max sniffed.
"You silly creature, you've never seen a vacuum cleaner before!" A what? A horrified Max thought.
"It's harmless! Really, it's an innocent device, Maxie!" Innocent! Max huffed, The day I lose my charm is when THAT thing will become innocent! Ha! But the only reply he got was a scratch behind his ear as his owner left him one on one with the great silver monster.
Max paced in circles around it, always keeping his distance. So… I bid you welcome. As you can see, I'm the king here… So, just in case you had some dark evil plans on taking over- But his cold greeting was interrupted by Max himself, who with a yelp jumped under the table, and lay there, shivering.
For the Great Thing suddenly started howling, and a large white eye lit up at its bottom. But as soon as Max was safely hidden, the howling stopped and The Eye stopped shining.
"Max! Oh, you poor, poor thing!" his owner cooed, as he climbed under the table in a futile attempt to rip a trembling Max from the table's leg.
Presently, however, Max, collecting himself, allowed to be taken away from the safety of the wooden pole to the silver thing. For some strange reason, once in the arms of his owner Max felt much more calm, and was able to examine the Thing more carefully.
And yet the more he looked, the more Max knew, sticking his nose in the air, that the Thing was, as a matter of fact, evil, and it did not belong in his house. I promise you sir, you will be out of here in no time! And with that, his nose still in the air, Max allowed himself to be carried away, stealing a glance at the glass door leading to the backyard, just to make sure that no one witnessed him loosing his bravery.
The next morning found Max in a grumpy mood. As he was taking his usual walk around the house, checking everything, he found that the evil thing was gone, and so was its box. He peaked in every closet he could find, but it was no where to be found. Then his mood improved. By noon, when he was taking a nap after a nice steak lunch, he would have forgotten all about it, if not for the sudden howling that pulled him out of his sweet dreams. As he frantically tried to understand what the howling was, his mood dropped once again.
He climbed on his owner's bed and stuck his head under the pillows, squeezing his eyes shut. Stupid, evil thing, he thought, it's just here to ruin my life! Hm!
Soon he fell into troubled sleep, the sound of the howling ringing in his ear long after it stopped.
The rest of Max's day didn't go much better. Being very upset, he had three sandwiches and a hamburger, and when he went over to charm his adorable friends, he found that he was stuck in the fence for a record time: thirty seconds.
When it was time for bed, and Max climbed in next to his owner, pressing his nose in the man's hand, he only succeeded in getting his owner to tell him all about how great the vancube cleaner was.
Max felt a little sad. It was almost like being replaced. Not to worry, he thought, curling into a ball and yawning, He would never replace me…
When he woke up, Max dashed out of bed and on to the front porch, just to make sure that the evil monster didn't take his job of brining the newspaper to his owner. Relieved, he bit on it and carried it over to the kitchen, where his owner was having breakfast.
When, after giving Max a hug, the man left, Max immediately ran to his bedroom, shut the door, and hid under the blankets. Though he tried to convince himself otherwise, Max was very terrified of the blue and silver thing.
He stayed there the whole day. Finally, when his owner's car came up the drive way, Max, his mind made up, trotted over to the hallway closet, and with his teeth picked up a big, black leather glove. Then he went to the closet in the bathroom (the evil lair of the evil thing) and pushing open the door, threw his head up, sending the glove at the monster.
I challenge you to a duel, Max announced, glaring at his opponent, And may the man's best friend win!
Then, his head up high, Max left to go see what was for dinner.
Since the Thing suggested no date for the duel, Max felt that it was up to him. Sitting on the couch next to his owner, pigging out on a bowl of ice cream, he thought, Well, like the saying goes, the later the better.
But in a week, Max realized that the time was nearing. The Thing kept him awake with it's annoying howling, and haunted his dreams with its huge white eye. Even visits to his dear poodles were of no comfort, for whenever he would hear some rustling in the bushes, or see a lamp, he would always dart back through the hole, forgetting each time that it took some effort to squeeze through.
Presently, the Thing was brought out again, just to be walked across the carpet. When it's howling ceased (it always did whenever Max's owner would poke it in the side) and the man walked away, Max bravely ran forward.
Stopping inches away from the monster, he growled, This house ain't big enough for the both of us! Come to think of it… it's barely big enough for me… Anyway, I'm driving you out, you… Thing! Here and now!
And with that, the brave little bulldog charged at the vacuum cleaner, knocking it over on its side. Suddenly it started howling, its eye lit up, and Max felt himself being eaten.
No! he thought, I'm too young and handsome to die! So, as bravely as he could, digging his claws into the polished sides of the Thing, he managed to save himself, and send it flying across the room. As it did, its huge black tail got looped around the leg of a little table, on which stood a lovely vase. The table went down, and the lovely vase with it, quickly becoming not so lovely.
Not losing a moment, Max jumped at the thing again, tearing at its sides, until the gray head came off. Feeling he was finally gaining the upper paw, Max launched himself at the white eye, attacking it until it too, came off, and lay in a pitiful pile of a broken light bulb.
And yet the monster was still trying to eat Max. In a final desperate attempt, the brave bulldog caught its huge black tail and gave it a pull. Quite easily, it came out, and the howling stopped.
By now, the terrified owner had run in. "What happened! My table! My vase! My vacuum cleaner! My dog!"
Proudly, Max stood on top of the destroyed vacuum cleaner, grinning to himself.
The owner heaved a great sigh. He picked up the bulldog and asked, "Now would you like a sandwich, Max?" It's a sandwich well deserved! Max agreed.
I do have a great life after all, Max thought as he lay sunbathing in the garden. He never felt like more of a king. He actually defended his castle. He could almost hug himself with glee.
Then he heard the doorbell ring. He went into the hallway, just in time to see the door close. He heard noises coming from the living room. Walking in, he found his owner, his back to Max, bent over something. As he turned, Max's mouth fell open.
Behind his owner stood a brand new red and blue box!